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I found a poem about balance that I wrote many years ago.  It is a great lead into the topic of finding balance and appreciation in all aspects of life.

sometimes the sun shines on my life, it makes my whole world glow. 

i love to feel the warmth on my skin, on my soul.

other days the rain pours on my heart and overflows into areas that are saturated.

every part of life needs this balance.

without sunshine, my flowers will not grow.

without rain, my garden would dry out and die.

i am grateful for both the good and the bad. 

those opposite forces bring balance, contentment, appreciation.

~Melissa Cooper

 It may be hard sometimes to find anything positive when unfortunate events occur, but this way of thinking may help you recover faster, reduce stress, and promote a more healthy lifestyle.  The other day as I was receiving my furlough letter, a comment was made about how crazy it will be when we get back to work.  I responded with, “It will be AWESOME!” while laughing. Was my comment a little deluded?  Perhaps, but this outlook makes what comes next more manageable.  What is the point in being mad, frustrated, or mean because of the situation?  I have no control over the workload, I have no control over Congress.  I only have control over my thoughts, feelings and behaviors.  Therefore, I can be mad, we have every right to feel our emotions as they come.  I can manage that feeling by taking action in a way that will bring some good to the situation.  That could be getting involved in social media, signing petitions, blogging about what is going on.  Maybe it’s volunteering to help people in need, counseling others that need help, or listening and being there for a friend.  When I get back to work, I can develop a game plan to manage my time so I don’t get too overwhelmed, but throwing a tantrum will not get me back to work any quicker, or make the work get completed any faster.  I have to look at the big picture and determine where my energy should be spent.  Negative behavior won’t reduce my stress, it will actually amplify my stress.  So, should my energy be spent in ways that make me feel better, or in ways that fuel my anger, making me feel worse?  I choose the good stuff.  Ways to expel that negative energy that come with anger and frustration could be exercise, writing, talking with friends, doing things you like- with all this time off, I can do all sorts of things!

In life, there will always be events that are unexpected, that you are not prepared to handle, that show up and you feel as though you cannot be pushed any harder…but somehow miraculously you get through it.  You dig your heels in, you learn from it and you grow from the experience.   In turn, without the experience – no matter how terrible it may be at the time – you would not appreciate your life in the same way.  Somehow, by working through the unimaginable it opens up the possibilities of who you are, and how incredible you are, making you truly appreciate yourself and your loved ones in a much deeper way.  For example, any mother I have spoken to recalls childbirth as pretty miserable, but the moment they look at their baby, they all say the same thing – it was totally worth it.  Somehow, someway, the pain, the labor, the months of carrying that child disappear and are replaced with an atmosphere of thankfulness, awe, and appreciation.

 When faced with what may seem like an insurmountable expectation, find your balance, thank your lucky stars that you have an opportunity to overcome a hardship and learn a new lesson.  This type of thinking wont happen overnight, but changing your internal dialogue little by little will lead to a less stressful and happier life.

Dialogue swap – Change your internal dialogue and overall way of thinking about a situation.

NEGATIVE DIALOGUE	POSITIVE SWAP
I can’t do it.	I can do anything temporarily.
It’s too hard.	I can try it and see what happens.
I don’t have the money.	Time to get creative!
That will never happen.	You never know until you try.
I don’t have enough time.	I couldn’t fit that into my schedule, but I can evaluate some priorties.
I will never be any good at this.	If I practice, I can only improve.
I don’t feel good.	I feel great!
I am tired.	I am awake, I am alive and ready to go!

Tell us about how you find balance.