As I stood in line at the fertility doctor that morning I was overwhelmed with a feeling of awe, sadness and hope. My husband and I had been trying to have children for almost 2 years. We began seeing a fertility doctor in October, then instantly found out we were pregnant. Unfortunately that little blessing didn’t make it.
So, we began again. We went through the testing that revealed it may be more difficult for us to conceive. We were ready to do whatever we could to create life with the love we have for each other. We prayed and hoped and attended the IVF classes. No matter the cost we would figure out out. Then in June, a couple weeks before starting the IVF process, God answered our prayers with a positive pregnancy test.
So, as I stood in line at my third follow up sonogram to make sure baby is on track, I was overcome with emotion as I realized how much all these women around me wanted the same thing I had growing inside me. I was in awe at the resilience and commitment of these amazing women. To put your body through the hormones, procedures, and emotional roller coaster of producing eggs to hopefully get fertilized and become an embryo then properly implant – well, it’s a process to say the least. I also felt so appreciative that God saved me from that process. I really wanted a baby, but hoped my body would cooperate the old fashioned way. I recall in my younger years praying not to get pregnant, what a mistake, now all I could think about was conceiving.
I felt sadness that so many people around me in this small office desperately wanted to create life, to be parents, to guide and protect and raise fabulous people, while some in this world brutally attack, neglect or discard children daily.
Finally, hope! Glorious hope washed over me that these women will too feel the way I do right now – joyous, nervous, excited, blessed and so in love with this little person growing inside me!
I cannot wait to meet this little miracle!
As an update *** This was written almost 4 years ago. I was nervous to post as many women understand that have had fertility issues, you want it to work and don’t want a reminder it didn’t. I’m happy to report my little guy is 3 and he has a baby sister coming in September. We are beyond thrilled and filled with gratitude.
For others facing the struggle choose hope and faith, they will guide your journey.