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A friend recently asked me to write about expectations of a man and a woman when having a baby. Well, we talked about expectations a bit in my recent blog, so let’s reframe that to, understanding the relationship transition with a newborn. When two people decide to have or are blessed with the joy of children, there is a 9 month delay for good reason. Even with adoptions, the process takes time. Being a parent is an awesome responsibility and
“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get – only what you are expecting to give.” – Katherine Hepburn
Men and women enter into relationships for many different reasons, but maintaining them is the tricky part. Recently, some friends asked to hear about expectations in the relationship, new rules in the modern household, and how bringing a child into the home influences expectations. Today’s post will address the former, as bringing a baby into a relationship merits a post on its own.
In my last class as a budding counselor, I learned one of my most valuable lessons – Expectations. It really is a loaded word. We discussed expectations for ourselves and the client as well as how to be present with people so that both parties are less likely to be disappointed. When you are present in the current moment, fully engaged, and remove expectations; a space is offered that nurtures mutual respect and encourages growth.
Think about when you are learning something new or engaging in a new environment. Be it work, educational, or social; you try so hard to “get it right”, so you are all in your head, working overtime to use the proper procedure, ask the right questions, and deliver the correct results or behaviors. This can happen in a new relationship as well.
We swirl around inundated by trivial items like a bad hair day, a TV show, celebrity news, decorating, shopping, annoying people, bad drivers, cranky partners, dirty dishes, laundry, bills…and the list could go on. But then you get a phone call that slaps you into reality and makes you realize how unimportant that stuff is in the scheme of things. We want people to show up for us, but do we show up?
Celebrate life, spend time with family, get to know your elders, its about quality time, being there — because one day you….or they may not be.
Do you remember it? That moment when you laid eyes on your person? The first encounter – when you were intrigued, attracted, drawn in. It may be hard to remember what first drew you to them – or perhaps you remember it like it was yesterday. Was it their eyes, their laugh, their smile, that smokin’ hot body? The way you felt in their presence? You may be able to think back and remember the exact outfit you wore and place you met. Christy Cooper recently asked, “can you grow to love someone or is physical attraction everything?”
Men are physical beings, so of course physical attraction is a key factor to choosing a mate. Both genders are initially drawn to each other by physical appearance, but is it everything? From what I have seen – NO. Love transcends the physical body, if not how could we explain Continue reading
It’s 5am, the alarm goes off and I realize another day awaits, but it’s hard to get out of bed. My body doesn’t feel rested, my eyes burn and my head aches. My jaw feels sore, probably from the clenching or grinding in my sleep. Coffee may not be enough to activate me this morning. When I get to work, Continue reading
You ever have one of those weeks that just dragged on and on and on with no hope of ending, or accomplishing the thousands of tasks at hand? It happens to us all. The best medicine doesn’t cost a thing. Find a friend or loved one to spend some time with and tell funny stories, people watch, make fun of each other, and just plain ol’ belly laugh. You know the type – – when you laugh so hard your eyes water, your cheeks hurt, and your tummy starts to spasm from overuse. After a couple hours of engaging in great conversation, and letting yourself forget about all the things you have no control over in this moment seem to melt away, effortlessly. Thanks friend for the great laughs tonight! I needed it!