Being Present

Protest with Joy: From Clarity to Extraordinary

Posted on by missycooper1

TL;DR:
You don’t need more time—you need more intention. When you get clear on what you need and choose joy on purpose, you begin to shift what you attract. Start small. Stay intentional. Let the ripple effect do the rest.

It Started with a Conversation I Didn’t Know I Needed

I was sitting with a few mom friends—nothing fancy, just real life in the middle of busy schedules, work, kids, and everything in between. And somehow, we were all saying the same thing in different ways.

We’re doing everything. We’re showing up. We’re holding it all together. Taking care of everyone. But somewhere in all of that… we’ve stopped checking in with ourselves. Not about what needs to get done—but about what we actually need. Not the to-do list, not the next obligation, but the quieter, deeper things that often get pushed aside.

Peace. Space. Joy.

And in the middle of that conversation, I shared something I had seen recently that completely reframed things for me:

What if we protested all of this heaviness… with joy?

Not my words—but they stuck. Because it felt like permission.

Joy Is Not a Reward—It’s a Strategy

We’ve been conditioned to believe joy comes later.

After the work is done.
After the kids are settled.
After everything is handled.

But what if joy isn’t the reward at the end of the day? What if it’s the thing that fuels everything else?

This is where manifestation becomes real—not in a fluffy way, but in a practical one. What you consistently think about, speak about, and act on… expands. So if your days are filled with stress and self-neglect, that’s what grows.

But when you anchor your life in small moments of clarity, intention, and joy, you begin to shift the energy you carry—and the energy that comes back to you.

Clarity Comes First

Everything starts with clarity. Not big, overwhelming life clarity. Just honest, present-moment clarity.

What do I actually need today?
What would make this day feel lighter—not just productive?

So many of us don’t struggle because we don’t know what to do—we struggle because we’ve gotten so used to prioritizing everyone else that we’ve stopped asking ourselves these questions.

Clarity isn’t selfish. It’s foundational.

It’s the moment you stop operating on autopilot—and start choosing your life.

Then Comes Intention

Once you’re clear, even in a small way, you get to choose how you show up. This is where your thoughts begin to matter more than you think. Instead of repeating:

  • I’m overwhelmed
  • There’s never enough time
  • I’ll take care of myself later

You begin to shift, gently:

  • I’m allowed to feel good today
  • I can create small moments of peace
  • Joy belongs in my life now—not later

You don’t need dozens of affirmations. Just one thought you can return to when your mind starts to spiral.

Because what you focus on shapes how you experience your life.

Aligned Action Is Where It Becomes Real

Extraordinary doesn’t come from big, perfect overhauls. It comes from small, consistent, aligned actions.

It looks like:

  • Taking five quiet minutes before the day begins
  • Laughing with your kids instead of rushing the moment
  • Sending a kind message just because
  • Stepping outside and breathing instead of scrolling

These aren’t small things. They are signals—to your mind and your life—that you matter too.

Pay Attention to What Comes Back

When you shift internally, your external world responds.

You feel more grounded.
Your patience expands.
Your interactions soften.
Opportunities feel different.

Not because life suddenly becomes perfect—but because you are showing up differently inside of it. That’s manifestation. Not magic. Not luck. Alignment.

The Ripple Effect Matters

When you choose joy—especially when life feels heavy—you’re not just impacting yourself.

You’re modeling something powerful for your kids. You’re shifting the energy in your home. You’re bringing something better into every space you enter. I say it all the time in my house:

“Let’s go spread joy today.”

Because kindness multiplies. Energy transfers. And what you put out into the world has a way of finding its way back.

Reflection: Come Back to Yourself

Take a minute and check in:

  • What do I actually need right now?
  • Where am I putting myself last out of habit?
  • What would it look like to “protest with joy” in my daily life?
  • What is one small action I can take today that aligns with how I want to feel?
  • If I believed good things could come back to me… how would I show up differently?

Final Thought

Extraordinary isn’t something you chase. It’s something you create—through clarity, through intention, through small, aligned choices every single day. So, if life feels heavy right now, start there.

Get clear.
Choose joy.
And let that be your quiet form of protest.

Because when you create space, even just a little… You make room for something more.

We’ve Never Been More Connected — Yet Loneliness Is Rising

Posted on by missycooper1

Why human connection may be one of the most powerful medicines we have.

After my grandfather passed away, my grandmother spent many years alone in their home, the one he had built, and they raised their family in for more than four decades – then – one day she fell down the stairs and earned a concussion and several stitches. She was still pretty young and independent, but really isolated. After much contemplation, she sold the house and moved into a senior apartment complex. We didn’t realize how lonely she was until we experienced her after this change. Her happiness, adventures and friendships enriched her life exponentially. I always look back at how the relationships she made in those last 15 years brought her back to life and gave her and us so much more of the matriarch we loved. I think about the elders who may not have that support and remain isolated. I also think about how many elders aren’t as lucky as my grandmother. Those with no one to watch out for them, to get them to a better tomorrow.

Stories like this are more common than we realize. And science is now telling us something important:

Loneliness isn’t just painful emotionally — it can be dangerous to our health.

TL;DR
Loneliness isn’t just an emotional experience—it’s a health risk. Research shows social isolation can increase dementia risk by around 50%, raise the likelihood of chronic illness, and increase the risk of early death. The good news? Social connection is powerful medicine. Small acts—volunteering, joining a community group, or simply checking on someone—can improve both your health and someone else’s life.

The Hidden Health Risks of Loneliness
Research consistently shows that social isolation and loneliness can have serious consequences for the body and brain.

Some of the most compelling findings from the U.S. Surgeon General Social Connection Advisory and Johns Hopkins Medicine include:

-Social isolation is associated with a 50% increased risk of dementia.
-Poor social relationships are linked to 29% increased risk of heart disease and 32% increased risk of stroke.
-Loneliness and social isolation are associated with about a 26–32% increased risk of premature death.
-Social isolation is associated with worsening chronic illness and poorer overall health outcomes.

In other words, the absence of meaningful connection doesn’t just hurt emotionally—it affects how our bodies function, how our brains age, and how long we live.

Loneliness isn’t just a feeling. For many people, it’s becoming a health risk.

Humans are biologically wired for connection. Our nervous systems, stress responses, and emotional regulation all respond to the presence of supportive relationships.

Connection is not a luxury. It’s part of how we stay healthy.

Why Phones and Technology Can’t Replace Real Connection
We live in the most technologically connected time in human history. We can message anyone instantly. See updates from hundreds of people daily. Join online communities from anywhere in the world.

And yet loneliness is rising.

Phones, social media, and technology can help us stay in touch, but they cannot replace what our brains and bodies truly need from connection.

Real connection includes things like:

-eye contact
-shared experiences
-laughter
-physical presence
-deep conversation

Scrolling through feeds or exchanging quick messages often lacks the emotional depth our brains evolved to experience.

Notifications are not the same as connection. Our brains know the difference.

Technology is a tool. But it cannot replace relationships.

Why Loneliness Increases the Risk of Dementia
Researchers are still learning exactly why loneliness impacts brain health, but several factors appear to play a role.

When we regularly engage with others, our brains stay active. Conversation, emotional connection, and shared experiences stimulate areas of the brain involved in memory, language, and decision-making.

In many ways, social interaction acts like exercise for the brain. When social interaction decreases, several things can happen:

Reduced cognitive stimulation
Meaningful conversations and shared activities challenge the brain. Without these interactions, the brain may not receive the stimulation that helps maintain cognitive strength.

Increased stress and inflammation
Loneliness can trigger chronic stress responses in the body. Over time, elevated stress hormones and inflammation can negatively affect brain health.

Higher risk of depression and inactivity
Loneliness often leads people to withdraw further, reducing physical activity, mental engagement, and social interaction—all factors that protect brain health as we age.

This is why researchers increasingly consider social connection one of the most important protective factors for healthy aging. Friendship, conversation, laughter, and shared experiences aren’t just enjoyable. They are part of how we keep our minds healthy and resilient.

Social Connection Is Medicine
The encouraging news is that connection is powerful. People who maintain strong social relationships often experience:

-Better mental health
-Lower stress levels
-Stronger immune systems
-Greater resilience during illness
-Healthier cognitive aging

Connection acts like a protective buffer that helps our bodies and minds navigate life’s challenges. But what if your social circle feels small? Many people experience loneliness not because they want to be isolated, but because life circumstances slowly shrink their social world.

The good news is that connection can be built—often through small intentional steps.

Practical Ways to Build Connection
You don’t need dozens of friends to feel connected. What matters most is meaningful interaction.

Here are a few ways to begin expanding your social world.

Volunteer
Helping others is one of the fastest ways to build meaningful relationships. Volunteering creates connection through shared purpose—whether at a food bank, community garden, animal shelter, church, or youth organization.

Join a Community Group
Communities are full of opportunities for connection:

-book clubs
-fitness classes
-walking or hiking groups
-art classes
-faith communities
-continuing education programs

Even one weekly activity can create a sense of belonging.

Start Small Conversations
Connection doesn’t have to begin with something big. Try small interactions:

-chatting with a neighbor
-talking with someone at the gym
-asking a coworker to grab coffee
-engaging in conversation at a community event

Small moments often grow into real relationships.

Reach Out First
Many people are lonely—but everyone assumes others are too busy.

Send the text. Make the call. Invite someone for lunch.

You might be opening the door for someone who needed connection just as much as you did!

Check on the People Who May Be Quietly Struggling
Loneliness is especially common among:

-older adults
-caregivers
-people with chronic illness
-those who have recently moved
-individuals going through life transitions

Sometimes the people who appear “fine” are the ones who have gone the longest without meaningful connection. A simple message like “I was thinking about you today” can mean more than we realize.

Sometimes the smallest act of connection can change someone’s entire day — or even their life.
Reflection: A Few Questions to Consider
Take a moment to reflect:

When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation where you truly felt seen or heard?

Is there someone in your life who might be feeling lonely right now that you could check in on today?

What is one small step you could take this week to build more connection in your life?

Connection often begins with something small.

A message.
An invitation.
A moment of kindness.

Humans Aren’t Meant to Do Life Alone
Connection is part of what makes us human. We heal through relationships. We grow through relationships. And sometimes the smallest acts of kindness become lifelines for someone else.

So check on your elders. Invite someone into conversation. Volunteer in your community. Join something new.

And whenever you can—be the light for someone else. Because connection doesn’t just change lives.

It saves them.

The world doesn’t need more notifications. It needs more neighbors, more conversations, and more people willing to show up for each other.

Stay Connected
If this article resonated with you, you’re not alone. Many of us are trying to navigate modern life while still holding onto what matters most—connection, growth, and meaningful relationships.

If you’d like to read more reflections like this:

• Follow the blog for future posts
• Share this article with someone who may need it
• Start a conversation in the comments

Sometimes the smallest conversations lead to the most meaningful connections.

If someone came to mind while reading this, reach out to them today. Connection often begins with a simple “I was thinking about you.”

Clarity Creates Space

Posted on by missycooper1

TL;DR: When life feels too full to grow, the answer isn’t more time — it’s more clarity. Clarify what matters, build small systems, and get 1% better each day. Clarity creates space. Space creates growth.

“I just don’t have time.” Welp – I have said that a time or two.

It’s the anthem of high-capacity people.
Professionals. Parents. Leaders. Builders of meaningful lives.

But what if improvement doesn’t require more time — just better intention?

What if growth isn’t about overhauling your life… but about getting 1% better today?

The Myth of “When Things Slow Down”

There’s a quiet lie we tell ourselves:

“When this season calms down, then I’ll focus on improving.”

The season doesn’t calm down.

The inbox refills.
The kids need something.
Work shifts again.

Life stays full.

Waiting for spaciousness before you build improvement is like waiting for the ocean to stop moving before you swim.

Instead, we build space inside the chaos.

1% Better: Systems Over Willpower

In Atomic Habits, James Clear writes:

You don’t rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.

Most of us set goals when we’re frustrated:

“I need to work out more.”
“I need to be more patient.”
“I need to lead better.”

But improvement doesn’t come from intensity.
It comes from identity and systems.

If you want to write more, don’t commit to writing a chapter. Commit to opening the document at the same time each day.

If you want to lead better, don’t commit to being inspirational. Commit to asking one clarifying question in every meeting.

That’s 1%.

Tiny. Repeatable. Sustainable.

And compounded daily, it changes everything.

Clarity Is Kind

Sometimes what we call “no time” is actually unspoken tension.

Unclear priorities.
Avoided conversations.
Unaligned expectations.

In Dare to Lead, Brené Brown says:

Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.

When we avoid tough, respectful, direct conversations, we create emotional clutter. And clutter consumes energy.

You can’t improve while managing ambiguity.

So instead of asking, “Where do I find more time?” ask:

  • What is actually most important right now?
  • What conversation am I avoiding?
  • What needs to be clarified so I can move forward cleanly?

Clarity creates space.
Space reduces stress.
Reduced stress fuels growth.

Get to the Bottom of What Really Matters

High performers often try to improve everything at once.

That’s exhausting.

Instead, ask:

If I could improve just one thing over the next 30 days that would create disproportionate impact, what would it be?

Then build a system around that.

Not a motivational speech.
Not a vision board.
A system.

  • A recurring reminder.
  • A scheduled check-in.
  • A habit trigger.
  • A measurable action.

Improvement requires structure more than inspiration.

Identity: Who Are You Becoming?

James Clear emphasizes identity-based habits.
Brené Brown emphasizes aligned values.

Together, they ask the same question:

Who are you becoming?

Not:

  • What are you achieving?
  • What are you fixing?
  • What are you proving?

But:

  • What kind of leader?
  • What kind of parent?
  • What kind of partner?
  • What kind of human?

Improvement feels overwhelming when it’s disconnected from identity.

But when it’s rooted in who you want to be, it becomes directional — not reactive.

The Practical Reset

If you feel like you don’t have time to improve, try this:

1. Pick one area. Not five. One.
2. Define the 1% behavior. What is the smallest repeatable action?
3. Attach it to something you already do. Make it automatic.
4. Remove one unclear conversation. Clarity frees capacity.
5. Track consistency, not perfection.

Improvement requires structure more than inspiration.

Final Thought

You don’t need a different life to grow.

You need a different lens.

Improvement doesn’t demand more hours.
It demands intention.

And the compound effect of small, clear, courageous actions — repeated daily — is how we become who we say we want to be.

One percent at a time.

What’s one small 1% shift that would create space for you this week?

I feel like I was punched in the gut

Posted on by missycooper1

I literally just read the awful news that Roe v. Wade was overturned by the Supreme Court. I feel like I cant breathe. Everyday it seems like rights are taken from us. Death, destruction, war, panic, fear, opportunity, options at all for some. We as people are being stifled and oppressed and told to just bend over and take it! This is NOT okay!

How should it be anyone’s right to make decisions about the health and care of your own body? Women can make a decision to remove their breasts if they are concerned about cancer, but not reproductive health? If men were the ones to get pregnant this would be a non issue.

I was told a few stories recently that the general public may not understand about what danger is now in store for women. Whether you believe in abortion or not…that really isnt the only issue. There are women who unfortunately have children who die in the womb. Or who at no fault of the mother, the fetus could kill the mother if brought to term. There are also babies that will die once out of the womb.

And those children now will have to be brought to term (due date) before able to be delivered. It will now be illegal to remove the fetus even at risk of the mother dying. One person shared this was the most traumatic event in her life. Besides losing the baby, she was deathly sick. The deteriorating baby was causing toxicity in the mama. If she carried to due date she would die. Then the process of finding a place to remove the fetus was very difficult in her conservative state. The thought of going through this process now, safely, is nearly impossible. Please see this story for a personal account of the events that occur and will be made worse now. https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/roe-v-wade-overturned-wanted-pregnancy-miscarriage-b2108799.html

Why are we going backwards? Why are rights being taken away? Why are guns and control over women and people of color where we need to go back to? Where is the America that stands for freedom and justice FOR ALL? Whose agenda is this? The wealthy elite who think we will be so distracted with survival in this new awful world they can do what they want? F@$k that!

You can do something. You have to do something! You can vote for those who want to preserve our democracy, protect our children and women. Those who will remove oppressive and divisive practices from law. You can Vote for those that want to save our planet from climate change. You can Vote for those who will tax the billionaires. Those who stand up to bullies. Those who believe we can all dream and succeed. You can also run for public office and work to change your own communities.

Please don’t give up. Please dont become so overwhelmed that you do nothing. Your voice matters and if you do nothing those that wish to hold the power to oppress win. And we all lose.

Who am I?

Posted on by missycooper1

Who am I? Who do I wish to be? Do I play it safe or Do I choose something risky?

Am I a mother? Am I a wife? Am I a woman? Am I a child? Am I a worker? Am I good? Am I bad? Am I happy? Am I sad?

Who am I? What path do I choose? Do I choose the straight and narrow? Do I get entangled? Do I run from a fight? Do I jump into every challenge?

Do I love? Do I hate? Do I get angry? Do I debate?

Am I a sister if my sister is gone? Am I a daughter if my father is gone? Am I a granddaughter if my grandparents are gone? Am I loved if their love is gone?

As a mother of 2 beautiful children and a wife to a wonderful husband the roles that I place myself into change constantly like water flowing into every nook and cranny that requires me, but in those constant changes where do I go? Where is the true essence of me? Is it left in all those other nooks and crannies or does the essence of me still reside as a whole within me? How do I know that I am still me if me is everywhere else?

How do I find the me that I’m supposed to be? That I want to be? That I am? Do I pray? Do I meditate? Do I trust that God knows who I am and will keep me together…that He will put me back together when all the pieces of me seem to be distributed and gone?

I have no choice – I must trust that all will be well…that all IS well.

I have to Because I am here. Because I am writing these words, because I am seeking wholeness. If I am seeking it – then it IS – then completeness exists and has been here all along. I know that God resides within me and finds a way to bring all of the pieces back so that I can continue to be redistributed.

But how do I find a way to put myself back together on those days when finding the pieces seems impossible?

I have to stay in motion. I have to wake up each day, breathe in and out and pull the bits of me out of all the beautiful places they have been stored.

In the hug from my children as I wake each day.

The snuggle requests to ensure I know I’m loved.

The warm hug and smooch from my hubby as we meet in the kitchen for coffee.

The ride to school dancing to our favorite tunes.

The last run back hug from my toddler as I drop her off at school.

The appreciation from my team when I teach them a new tool.

The intrinsic reward at the end of a long day when I know the products I have prepared helped the leaders I work with.

The texts from my mom group checking in and sharing kid stories.

The venting sessions and girly giggles between me and my best friend.

And the list goes on. It can be hard to move forward in this life as crazy and awful as it is some days to exist…to read the news…to hear the tragedies of those around us. When the struggle to find those pieces seems oh so hard. But I assure you, once you find that breadcrumb, that tiny piece coming back and your heart feels a bit of warmth, the search for wholeness gets a bit easier.

You’re never alone. No matter how lonely you feel there are always people going through the same experiences. I encourage you to build a network if you don’t have one. If you do have one work on sharing your authentic self, you may be surprised how much more you have in common with people. So day by day, experience by experience, gather those pieces until your cup overflows. You will know when you’ve reached capacity because your spirit will urge you – almost unconsciously to help someone else. To show someone that crumb they may have missed. And in that kindness a spark of hope emerges in you both.

Would love to hear your stories or shared experiences.

Some days the sad hits hard

Posted on by missycooper1

This post has sat in my drafts for a while,and even though I don’t feel particularly sad, there are those days and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

My goodness! It’s been a long time! Not sure if it’s the weather, the pandemic, the isolation, fear, anxiety over the future as we know it, but today it all hit me. If you know me you know that optimism is my kevlar, my armour, and I usually have triple coats on…hard to get me down or hard for me not to see the better side of any situation, but today, that armour feels like it’s been hit with a rocket launcher.

I know all the things to do, how to take care of myself etc., but sometimes when there are so many clouds to find the silver lining in you get tired. For all of you that are struggling know you aren’t alone. I see you. I feel you. And we are going to be okay. This is temporary and we will get to the other side.

See what I did there? In the midst of sharing my stuff I found a way to comfort myself and you! I started the post to share my reality, but when we do that we automatically find ways to cope and bring healing to ourselves and others. If you are struggling let people you love know. It can be wildly cathartic.

Hang in their friends! Breathe. Love. Vote. Heal. Thrive. Keep your beautiful human spirit alive.

Dream

Posted on by missycooper1

Once upon a time I had a dream. I wrote it down…I thought about it. I talked about it, I asked questions, I did research. I did the work…I did some work, maybe not enough work. I stalled, I second guessed, I paused, I researched some more, I believed more in the not than the can be. I was afraid. I was paralyzed. What if? What do I want? Will this honor God? Will this honor me? My family? Will the work, the time, the sacrifice be for not?

How do I reconcile the dream from reality. If there is a desire in my heart, I must see it through….God would not keep pushing and urging me if it’s not important. But what is important? How do I take a break from my most important job with my little people during a pandemic and feel ok about it? Is that an excuse? Can I begin to take time for me?

These are the thoughts of a mother. A mother who loves her children and thinks of them before herself. I’m sure there are those that can relate. I have to say it, I matter too. You matter too. Your needs and success matter too. It’s okay to take a break and self-care so that you can be a wonderful role model of balance. You got this!

Action is always better than inaction. Take that action to make your dreams come true!

What dreams are you working on? What tactics do you use to balance your needs with the needs of your loved ones?

Managing school reopenings and my emotions

Posted on by missycooper1

Image from https://www.mycustomer.com/experience/engagement/the-20-emotions-that-drive-or-destroy-value-in-customer-experience

It seems like all I have been able to think about is this upcoming school year. I’m sure I’m not alone with millions of parents contemplating their children’s futures as we speak.

It’s an exciting chapter, since my 5-year old will be attending kindergarten. He’s been going to a great daycare for years, so we aren’t unfamiliar with his being away from home, but our current climate makes the idea of elementary school so surreal. Both kids have been home from daycare since mid-March along. We’ve been navigating learning, finding time for fun activities between work and home obligations while trying our best and failing many days to limit screen time.

Then once we finally decided what school the kid would go to and got accepted, the purgatory of finding out the learning format was too much. All the schools seems to be doing things a little different, the choices are so varied, in- person, hybrid, virtual, and homeschool. When I got word it was virtual only, I was so happy I didn’t have a choice because none of the options are awesome and it was one less thing to keep me up at night.

So, now my son will be involved in a virtual educational program. I will have to ensure assignments are done and uploaded, that virtual sessions are attended, that he still gets outside and doesn’t spend too much time on screens post-school. Ughh, I’m tired already! To those parents who have already done this last year, or have kids in multiple grades, I have been hearing the experiences weren’t the best. So, I am prepared to stay positive and do my best, because in the grand scheme of things, what else can we do? I have decided to Elsa it – I have let go the things I cannot control.

Look – 50% of days I feel like a failure, I miss something, perhaps a work deadline, perhaps the baby’s schedule is all off, or my meetings run long and I miss a much needed fun activity with the kids to reduce the screen-time. Some days there isn’t much left in the tank to cook, or hang out with my hubby or to call my girlfriends who I miss so much! And I take it personal, I say all the awful things one should never say to oneself, because sheesh, words and thoughts hurt! But then there are those days I am well-rested, I have gotten a workout in, I spend an extra minute slow dancing with my hubby, and I get the belly laughs from the kiddos.

Those days remind me that we don’t have to have it all figured out. That all we have is this moment – this moment to be better, to live from a place of love and be kind to ourselves and those around us.

I use the acronym STOP (Slow down, Think, Observe the Present moment) to remind me to take a minute when I am feeling overwhelmed or stressed out. When you stop and make that observation, it helps you gain perspective.

Many of us live in our minds, our thoughts take over and begin to spiral. I call this tornado self-talk. It’s easy to confuse thoughts for feelings, if we blame someone else, it’s likely a thought. Your feelings are your experience, you control them and have power to change them. You may be thinking your partner is ignoring you, but the feeling is hurt, or anger. Using I statements to discuss your feelings may help you separate out the thought from the feeling. For example, I feel angry and hurt when you don’t greet me in the morning when you get up.

I have attached a link below to a website with a feeling wheel. It is a wonderful list of uncomfortable and comfortable general emotions. You can start from the outside and work your way in to hone in on the specific general emotion. For example, maybe your boss said something in a meeting that left you feeling inadequate, the primary emotion would be embarrassed. How could you discuss the situation with your boss to prevent that type of situation in the future?

Since we don’t necessarily stop to observe and acknowledge what is going on in our bodies, how our body is feeling, or where are we experiencing tension. Use this STOP moment to feel your feelings. Is there heaviness in your heart? You may be feeling sad. Tension or discomfort in your stomach? You may be anxious. Tight neck, high blood pressure? You may be angry.

You can engage in self-reflection and ask the important questions to move forward:

  1. What is bothering me?
  2. What am I feeling in my body vs. what am I thinking in my mind?
    • (use emotion words – angry, hurt, sad, frustrated, powerless, scared; not thoughts – I feel judged, betrayed, taken for granted)
  3. What about this specific situation is unmanageable?
  4. How do I get through this moment?
  5. What actions are helping or harming me?
  6. What do I need do to make positive progress?

We all have challenging aspects of our lives, especially now. Take a moment, breathe, reflect and figure out what will bring positive, happy feelings to this time. If the kids watching one more episode gives you time to get in a workout or take a shower, let those feelings of screen-time guilt go and take care of you so you can be ready to work and teach tomorrow. Stay safe and be well.

Please share your stories, we learn to understand ourselves better when we can share our experiences.

Resources

Bodily maps of emotions by Lauri Nummenmaaa,b,c,1, Enrico Glereana, Riitta Harib,1, and Jari K. Hietanend

Emotion and Feeling Wheel from davidhodder.com

I Was a Screen–Time Expert. Then the Coronavirus Happened. by Anya Kamenetz

6 Tips for Managing your Emotions By Connected Marriage August 16, 2018

Making time for yourself in a pandemic

Posted on by missycooper1

We are in a new normal, but how has this new normal affected us? How are we making space in our lives to stop and just be in the present moment? It’s so hard to stop watching the news or lament about our current reality and all the things we miss, like spending time with other people than our housemates, enjoying pampering activities, vacations, group activities like parties, sports, and concerts or just allowing people in your home to chill.

Then there are the musts that still have to occur, whether you’re teleworking, going into your worksite, or regretfully lost your job, worrying about your kids – their education, their health, their mental health, then child care concerns, school in the fall, the health of educators, teaching while parenting and working full time… and still finding time to be with your spouse/partner in meaningful ways.

It’s enough to make your head pop off. Like seriously…I’m only one person! Even with a super supportive engaged hubby, its tough.

And for those single parents out there, ya’ll are the real MVP’s! How you do what you do is commendable, and if no one told you today how awesome you are, soak it in, wear that cape like the super hero you are. I’m sending all the positive vibes and letting you know how appreciated you are.

We can really put ourselves through the ringer and adding that unneeded pressure to do it all…and if you’re anything like me, to do it all perfect…becomes problematic when reality sets in and reminds us that we are in fact human. YOU ARE NOT A ROBOT.

So how do we do it? It’s critical to identify your family’s needs and wants and set expectations so everyone knows what to work toward. Then make a plan to get it done. Next, identify the extras that would be cool to accomplish, finally the rewards are those special treats that you deserve for getting through all this and staying safe, and they can boost mental health.

MUSTS would be things like laundry, food shopping, making meals, work, school tasks, sleep, fitness, solo quiet time for your brain (at least 10-15 mins a day, more if you can). Some musts can be contracted out – could you order food online to save time? Could you wash a load of laundry each night? Could you use a meal delivery service to cut down on food prep or teach the kids to cook? Bonus! Cooking with kids is teaching, learning, having fun and creating memories while doing a daily chore. Taking a walk after dinner could fill that fitness need while giving much needed brain space to recharge.

EXTRAS are those things that put a little pep in your step. Watching a funny movie with the family. Having a healthy meal together, calling a friend, journaling, listening to music, video chatting with friends or family. Making a tiktok video to laugh at your mad dancing skills or cat/dog/baby videos.

REWARDS could be learning something new, reading a book, spending alone time with your partner, helping a neighbor, walking in nature, creating art or slime with your kids, giving yourself a pedicure, facial, or taking a bubble bath.

Then make a schedule and a plan, write it down. Make yourself a priority and don’t feel bad about it. Mom guilt comes fast and hard when we think of time away from the babes, but you need to take care of you so there is something left to care for the family.

I like to find time early in the morning before any other distractions so I can center and stay focused on my goals. I spend time with God, workout and attempt a learning video on YouTube a few times a week, other days I go for a Netflix comic or cat/dog/baby video on YouTube. I’m thankful my hubby is supportive and wrangles the littles during this time. It keeps me sane and fills my spiritual tank so I can be the person I am instead of the crabby lady that comes out from all the stress.

What do you do to take care of you? What extras and rewards are meaningful for you and how are you staying sane amid the pandemic?

Check out blessingmanifesting.com for more info on self-care.

Young Love

Posted on by missycooper1

young_love_wf_04Photo Courtesy of cdn.greenweddingshoes.com

Remember when you were 5, and you had your first crush?  I think back to all the things I did to gain the attention of my first love interest and wondered – what if we used some of these tactics now?  I’m sure we could easily come up with the con list, or lessons learned, but what was the good stuff?  What were the things we did, said, and experienced that could help us now?

Be yourself 

Usually you paired up with someone because you had the same interests.  You started the conversation with comparing your Star Wars lunch box, big rimmed glasses, or artwork. Take notice of people in your circles of interest that you may have overlooked. What’s stopping you from talking to them and comparing your smart phones, Twitter pages or blogs?  Putting yourself out there can be a little unnerving at first, but the reward of being who you genuinely are and having others accept you supersedes the anxiety.  P.S. If they don’t accept you for your true self, then they probably would not add value to your life anyways.

Play

When we were kids we had fun!  We chased each other around, we created high-imagination games, we could play a card game for hours if he was playing.  We shared and laughed and built forts together! A friend of mine joined a softball team after moving to the area. This turned out to be a great way to connect with new friends and crushes. Even on days when he wasn’t 100% in the mood to play softball, the camaraderie and fun of being with others who shared his interests made the activity worthwhile and there was the added bonus of meeting new, interesting women.

Pay attention and make an effort

I remember when my first boyfriend got me a gift for my birthday.  It was a plastic bracelet, but it had a puppy charm on it, and I loved puppies!  I talked about them all the time.  That is the kind of thing that makes a girl feel special; whether you are 5 or 50.  When someone pays attention, and makes an effort to do something nice or thoughtful it goes a long way!

Feel your feelings

What about the feelings that we had?  Remember the hot cheeks, the butterflies, the awkwardness, and shy moments?  Over time we can get desensitized to these feelings because of previous unsuccessful relationships.  After years and years of dating and one break up or heart break after another, you may force yourself to overlook those feelings and cues.  It is important to reconnect your body and emotions so you can keep your mind open to a person who may be a potentially good fit for you.  Those feelings tell us we are into that person, that something about them makes us want to know more.

Hone your inner child and have a little fun with your partner, your crush and yourself!  Hopefully your partner is your crush or your crush becomes your partner.  When we were young we wished we could quickly grow up, but now that we have, we understand the fallible logic of that thinking.  Cherish the fun, spontaneous moments you have with your loved ones that bring back the feelings of childhood.

Would love to hear your love stories and ways you keep love young.  Please share!