unconditional positive regard

Terminating the client-counselor relationship

Posted on by missycooper1

Courtesy of tagxedo.com

What is the best way to end the counseling relationship?  A counselor’s hope is with the client in a better place and with a higher level of awareness.  Of course we want to know that we made a difference, but that’s the tricky part of working with humans.  We are all unique and results are measured differently.  With one client a certain level of progress may not seem very significant, but with others that same type of progress may be just enough to leave a lasting effect.  No matter how significant the results, terminating the counseling relationship is just as important as beginning it.

When meeting with a client, I like to be as proactive as possible.  The more information my clients have the better, that way there are no surprises.  Counseling is a very intimate relationship.  People don’t generally put their whole selves along with their secrets on the table for all to see, so developing the counseling relationship is instrumental.  Part of gaining trust comes with informed consent, making sure they know what to expect from you, and ending treatment in a respectful way.  Carl Rogers theory, person-centered approach, is drilled into your counseling education for a reason.  The three aspects Rogers believed are critical to the counseling relationship are unconditional positive regard, empathy, and genuineness.  If your clients feel that you are present-engaged- participating- and you care, they are much more inclined to do the work.  Get them started with an understanding that there will be an end within a timeline. This gives them a metaphorical carrot to chase; an outcome to look forward to.  One caution – you can be a part of the journey without getting on the bus.  Meaning, maintain your differentiation to prevent transference and countertransference.  It takes practice, patience, and diligence to confront your own emotions after a difficult session.  Be sure to take the time to meet with a supervisor or peer to process the session, your feelings and move through it.  We must constantly take care of ourselves, spend too much time giving all you have to everyone else, and there is little left to work with.  This work helps you and ultimately makes you a better counselor.   

The interesting part of counseling is when your clients surprise you.  Sometimes we can make termination such a big deal in our heads, and admittedly feel a bit disappointed when they are not nearly as bummed as we are to end the counseling relationship.  Bottom line…Inform them, Rogers them, and give them a loose outline so they can take you on an incredible journey!

Transformation is an experience that few of us have a front row ticket to, get in that mosh pit, get engaged, and take it all in. It will change your life as well.

Adjusting to Disabilities

Posted on by missycooper1

Adjusting to disabilities is different for those born with disabilities than those with an acquired disability. Also, whether or not the disability is visible makes a difference in how they perceive themselves and how others view them. People will avoid people with disabilities (PWD) or treat them as if they are not an equal. If you have a mental illness, people may not understand why you cannot perform certain activities or tasks, or interact with the community. For those with a physical disability, they may be seen as being unable to do certain things, or limited because they are a wheelchair user or blind.

In both these examples other people’s perceptions are what limits the individual before they even begin to deal with their own understanding of their disability. People with a high level self-esteem, good support system, more economic resources and social supports have a better experience and are less likely to face the same barriers as those who do not. The focus of community is about the PWD’s right to engage in and maintain gainful employment and access to resources. This creates barriers in different communities that feel if a person with a disability has to work, then the family is not performing their duty in the family to take care of them. Working can have such a positive impact on a PWD. It allows for social interaction, the ability to learn new skills, builds self-esteem, enables them to make their own money, and be independent. Understanding how culture plays a part in disability will go a long way in helping the client and their family members support their loved one.

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Multicultural Counseling

Posted on by missycooper1

Becoming a multiculturally competent counselor requires research, understanding the basics about the different populations you serve,  diligence, and the ability to know your limits.  Meet your clients where they are and understand that counseling a multicultural population is not a one size fits all strategy.  It is about being aware of your own biases and prejudices and doing the work to overcome them so that you can be an effective professional.  As much as we want to help everyone, we cannot possibly be a specialist in everything.  When we meet with clients from different cultures, we must consider other aspects of their diversity as an individual that include more than what you see; such as disability, age, sexual orientation and gender, spirituality and mental illness.  The term diversity has seemed over the ages to be viewed as a black or white issue, but to me understanding diversity is about being open to the experience of others that are different from you, and seeing and appreciating them for who they are.  When we are able to meet a client in a place that shows no judgment, that offers unconditional positive regard, genuineness and respect, the opportunity to help them make progress can be limitless. Read More

Counseling Theories

Posted on by missycooper1

What did I learned in my last Counseling class before my field experience?  I thought I knew something about Counseling Theorists, but then Dr. D had this way of showing you the theories in such a way that they really stick.

The class structure was a great format to dissect and dig into theories.  The process of presentation followed by professor overview, then movement into a live role play, and finally into an activity created an environment of learning that leaves room for participation, learning and feedback.  I got the most from the role plays, as these helped me see how different theories can impact individuals and problems.  These experiences have helped me choose the theories that I believe in and trust will work for my style and my view of human nature and development.  I have learned that theory is the second most important part of working with clients. Read More

The essence of the therapeutic relationship: congruence, unconditional positive regard, and empathy

Posted on by missycooper1

What are the very basics to counseling?  What helps you build rapport with your clients?According to Seligman (2010), Rogers theoretical perspective places huge significance on facilitative conditions that he believed created a positive client-clinician relationship that promotes the clients’ self-awareness and ability to direct their lives in positive ways.  Congruence, unconditional positive regard, and empathy were the most important of these conditions.  Read More