family

Finding love that lasts

Posted on by missycooper1

Love.  It is the one thing in life that we all need, search for, hope for, ache for, and even sometimes in our fear – run from.  John Lennon said it best, “All You Need Is Love.”  Martin Luther King said, “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.”  From a spiritual perspective, “God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life” (John 3:16 NIV).  The Dali Lama notes that, “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.  Without them humanity cannot survive.”

If love is essential to all aspects of life, why is it so hard to see it when it arrives before you?  I recall a time when I thought all I wanted was a relationship with a man who truly loved me, yet I did many things to get in my own way, and prevent love from flourishing in my life.  Read More

Healing after loss

Posted on by missycooper1

How do you console a person experiencing grief?  Whether it is a loved one, a client, or coworker, the words never seem to be full enough to say enough; and the gifts, cards and flowers seem trivial when compared to what the person is experiencing.  So, how can you help a person experiencing tragedy?  In the past few months, several people I know have experienced loss of loved ones, illness, and tragic events beyond their control. Even this week, I received the sad news that my grandmother is in the hospital, and my cousin’s young daughter is having heart trouble.  In my experience, folks have told me that the best thing to do is to just be there.  The comfort comes from knowing you care, and that if they need you, you are there. Read More

How Past Experiences Influence Future Choices

Posted on by missycooper1

Past experiences play a huge role in the lives of people and the choices they make. Depending on the theoretical framework you pull from, past experiences may play a significant role in the treatment plan or may not be a focal point at all. For example, in Solution focused therapy attention is focused on what is going right, small goals, and what they can do now to change the problem they came into therapy for. Therefore, little treatment focus is placed on past experiences. Gestalt is all about “promoting awareness through experiences in the here and now…as people become more aware they reconnect with parts of themselves they may have been cut off from (Seligman 2010).” So, basically being aware of how your past has influenced your current position in life, how it has impacted your choices, and being focused on emotions, experiences and sensations to promote growth and change in your life. Existential therapy places focus on choices and finding meaning in life. The past here is used to honor the meanings you have found from life experiences. Adler, Erickson and Freud all felt that the past holds the key to understanding your conscious self. The past influences us; from the teacher who made me feel special in kindergarten to the first boy who broke my heart and especially to the family members that taught me what family and relationships look like (or sometimes shouldn’t look like), the past impacts your choices and your future. The cool part about this thing called life is that we do have a choice in our behaviors and we can work towards a life that gives us meaning and self-actualization. Read More