Counseling

The essence of the therapeutic relationship: congruence, unconditional positive regard, and empathy

Posted on by missycooper1

What are the very basics to counseling?  What helps you build rapport with your clients?According to Seligman (2010), Rogers theoretical perspective places huge significance on facilitative conditions that he believed created a positive client-clinician relationship that promotes the clients’ self-awareness and ability to direct their lives in positive ways.  Congruence, unconditional positive regard, and empathy were the most important of these conditions.  Read More

Amazing, Remarkable Life

Posted on by missycooper1

My posts have been few as of late, however, I am ready to get back to writing!  I have been on a whirlwind!  The past 8 months have been amazing, remarkable, incredible, astounding!  I am so happy, and feel super blessed!  So, what happened?  What is going on?  I graduated in December, my husband received a job promotion that brought us to Washington DC. I was able to transfer. Two months later a counseling job opened, I applied and in April started work as a counselor for the Department of Veterans Affairs.

It is interesting how change can scare you, elate you, stun you, overwhelm and excite you while throwing you into a new reality you could not have imagined in your most creative dream.   It has been quite a change, and all have been good.  Of course we miss our friends and family, but we are enjoying this new adventure. Read More

How Past Experiences Influence Future Choices

Posted on by missycooper1

Past experiences play a huge role in the lives of people and the choices they make. Depending on the theoretical framework you pull from, past experiences may play a significant role in the treatment plan or may not be a focal point at all. For example, in Solution focused therapy attention is focused on what is going right, small goals, and what they can do now to change the problem they came into therapy for. Therefore, little treatment focus is placed on past experiences. Gestalt is all about “promoting awareness through experiences in the here and now…as people become more aware they reconnect with parts of themselves they may have been cut off from (Seligman 2010).” So, basically being aware of how your past has influenced your current position in life, how it has impacted your choices, and being focused on emotions, experiences and sensations to promote growth and change in your life. Existential therapy places focus on choices and finding meaning in life. The past here is used to honor the meanings you have found from life experiences. Adler, Erickson and Freud all felt that the past holds the key to understanding your conscious self. The past influences us; from the teacher who made me feel special in kindergarten to the first boy who broke my heart and especially to the family members that taught me what family and relationships look like (or sometimes shouldn’t look like), the past impacts your choices and your future. The cool part about this thing called life is that we do have a choice in our behaviors and we can work towards a life that gives us meaning and self-actualization. Read More

Change…clear, specific and appealing!

Posted on by missycooper1

The concept of change has many aspects and directions to it. The instrumental part? Starting! The key concept in change? Clarity.

Sure, we have had those moments when we have thought about change, maybe we even started planning. Perhaps made an appointment, did some research, and maybe we even kicked in and did a few repetitions on this thing we were changing.

The trouble? Keeping up with it, making it stick. See, change is tough, or isn’t that what we tell ourselves? Well….it feels tough at first. It’s new; its uncomfortable; it’s an awakening, and our mind and body don’t really want to change. They are used to doing what we do; they are used to the same old stuff. This brings about fear, and the realization that either I am going to have to actually utilize effort to make progress, or wow….what if this change doesn’t work? What if I put effort into something and in the end, it doesn’t pan out? See…that is the crux of it.

“What if in the long run, it doesn’t pan out?” This fear paralyzes us from progress, because we would rather stay where we are, where we know what to expect instead of doing something different. Why put work and effort in and then end up disappointed because we cannot change anyways? That is why we not only have to change what we do when we want to acquire a new behavior; we have to think differently. I see this frequently in work with clients with addictions, but the cool thing about changing the way you think, is it is helpful for anyone.

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Expectations for ourselves and our clients

Posted on by missycooper1

As a new counselor we have all sorts of expectations. We have expectations for ourselves, how we “should” respond, what techniques and theories we “should” use, how quickly we “should get it” or conceptualize the problem, that we “should” be able to fix it, or help. We also get caught up in the expectations we have for our clients, how they “should” behave and what they “should” get out of each counseling session. I end up making quite a mess of things when I “should” all over the place. This was an ongoing battle for me and every other student in my Internship class.  It was my last semester, the one that brings everything you have learned about counseling into consolidation. The class was much different than I thought it was going to be. I was convinced I would get all kinds of useful information and techniques about how to do counseling right, but the lessons I learned in my final class were less about techniques and more about bringing an awareness to myself.  Sure we talked about ethics, termination, safety, but instead of focusing on figuring out the client, we were instructed to pay attention to what was going on within us. How were we feeling during a session? How were we sitting and breathing, and how did that affect our work with the client? How was our perception of expectations and attachment to our expectations for our clients and ourselves getting in the way of being in the present? Read More

How to establish goals with a vague client in a collaborative manner.

Posted on by missycooper1

Establishing goals with a client can sometimes be one of the most difficult parts of the relationship.  When working at my internship site last year, I worked with folks who were working towards self-sufficiency.  Even if we explained to them that counseling is part of the program during their intake process, they quickly forgot that they “signed up” for it.  When we meet an individual for the first time, they may not understand the purpose of counseling, they may think we are doing something to them.  We would hear statements such as:  “I just need a job” or “I just need a little support until I can get back on my feet.”  The troubling fact is that a large percentage of the individuals we served had been chronically homeless or close to homelessness for a significant portion of their lives.  So, the purpose of counseling for that population is to help them create healthier patterns in many aspects of their lives so they can live in a new and better way. They don’t normally come to see us with open arms, so identifying goals in a collaborative fashion could, at times, be difficult.  Read More

How do you know that you got it right?

Posted on by missycooper1

I am close to graduation and completing my internship, I have the privilege to work with some amazing clients that are in recovery.  So far, it has been an eye-opening learning experience.  After class the other night, I started to reflect on a case conceptualization that we discussed in class.  I began to think, how do you know that you got it right?  In some cases there are many different paths a counselor can take with a client and there may be several different relevant issues the client needs help with.  So, again how do you know for sure that you got it right?  Read More